I’ve spent the past couple of nights with the rest of the crew, watching the first three Pirates of the Caribbean. Since the motto on the front of my writer’s name-book comes from the Chinese proverb that "The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names," I decided to post my names for these movies.
Yes, I know that they have names already—or titles rather, and those titles don’t actually tell you what the movie is. So here are my names/subtitles to help you know what these movies are actually about:
Pirates 1: Uh-oh, someone got left behind again.
Pirates 2: Oh, look—how convenient! (The theme borrows very strongly from Wemmick’s wedding in Great Expectations. The plot borrows also the escape from an island prison in The Count of Monte Christo, Han Solo trying to blow out the Ewok’s torches, and the Orcs shooting at Isildur while he’s swimming—and that’s only the first half of the movie...)
Pirates 3: (I don’t actually know how to classify this one, other than the fact it might just have my favorite line ever—“No one move; I’ve dropped my brain!”).
P.S. I am beginning a movie-name collection, which currently includes these other two as well. Post your own favorite names for loved or unloved movies:
Star Wars Episode 3: The stars in their courses…aka “How many more bad choices can we make?” (This movie, in other words, proves Murphy’s Law).
Star Wars Episode 5: Let’s beat up on Luke!